The Big Question.
Why is it that the questions about ourselves are the most difficult to answer? Maybe because we don’t see ourselves the way billions of other people see us. To a stranger, maybe I am short, quiet, blonde, but to people who know me, I am someone completely different. And to myself, I am even more different than that.
I am a lot of things. I am short and blonde, but that isn’t who I am, those are simply traits that make up what other people see. I am also quiet at times, but I can be outspoken too, but that is a part of what I am.
So who am I?
Things that define me in my life make me who I am. I am a cheerleader, something I have been passionate about since high school. I have devoted countless hours in my life to the love of the sport purely because I want to. Being a cheerleader, I am peppy, happy, and competitive. These are just small parts of of who I am.
I am also a sorority girl, something that has captured my current passion. Being exposed to this world, having interaction with hundreds of other girls that I don’t even know and being accepted by them, has brought out my inner social butterfly, has given me hope and faith, and also makes up who I am.
But then there is the girl that not many people see. The genuine, friendly, caring me that my hometown knows, the girl my parents raised me to be. Since I was born, I was taught to be myself, to never change for a person, and I held true to that until middle school.
Being influenced by shows like Gossip Girl and movies like Mean Girls exposed me to a fictional lifestyle that I envied for horrible reasons. Why would any girls aspire to be like these characters? Being a bitch like Blair Waldorf will not get you anywhere in life, but many girls look up to her, idolize her, and want to be just like her. I didn’t have a maid, or a penthouse, and I went to public school, but putting a headband on gave me Blair-spiration, and I felt that I was more entitled than the people I grew up with.
I lost a part of who I was with all of these influences. That little girl who played in the mud and would climb trees was hidden behind labels and an I’m-better-than-you attitude.
Not that I am all grown up, because 21 is still just a child, but I know the difference between who I am and who I really am. The me my peers see, my friends see, is the me that they are immune to, the me that they know. But it isn’t the me my family sees, my lake friends see, the me that is still holding onto that little girl in pigtails.
Despite the influence of a tailored lifestyle and the façade that made myself believe is me, I have managed to keep a small portion of myself, my true genuine self, and hold onto it. Don’t get me wrong, labels are fabulous and Starbucks™ is my favorite bar, but I enjoy riding horses and dirtbikes just as much as paying for overpriced coffee.
I am so thankful for the life that I grew up with, and even more thankful that I can still be that girl at heart. For the people that are lucky enough to see me let my guard down, they see I am compassionate and I’ve had my heart broken just like every other girl. And if you don’t know me, get to know me past the stereotype sorority girl, because underneath my sometimes-bitchy appearance, is a sensitive and loving person. Sometimes, she just needs a little push.
I am a lot of things. I am short and blonde, but that isn’t who I am, those are simply traits that make up what other people see. I am also quiet at times, but I can be outspoken too, but that is a part of what I am.
So who am I?
Things that define me in my life make me who I am. I am a cheerleader, something I have been passionate about since high school. I have devoted countless hours in my life to the love of the sport purely because I want to. Being a cheerleader, I am peppy, happy, and competitive. These are just small parts of of who I am.
I am also a sorority girl, something that has captured my current passion. Being exposed to this world, having interaction with hundreds of other girls that I don’t even know and being accepted by them, has brought out my inner social butterfly, has given me hope and faith, and also makes up who I am.
But then there is the girl that not many people see. The genuine, friendly, caring me that my hometown knows, the girl my parents raised me to be. Since I was born, I was taught to be myself, to never change for a person, and I held true to that until middle school.
Being influenced by shows like Gossip Girl and movies like Mean Girls exposed me to a fictional lifestyle that I envied for horrible reasons. Why would any girls aspire to be like these characters? Being a bitch like Blair Waldorf will not get you anywhere in life, but many girls look up to her, idolize her, and want to be just like her. I didn’t have a maid, or a penthouse, and I went to public school, but putting a headband on gave me Blair-spiration, and I felt that I was more entitled than the people I grew up with.
I lost a part of who I was with all of these influences. That little girl who played in the mud and would climb trees was hidden behind labels and an I’m-better-than-you attitude.
Not that I am all grown up, because 21 is still just a child, but I know the difference between who I am and who I really am. The me my peers see, my friends see, is the me that they are immune to, the me that they know. But it isn’t the me my family sees, my lake friends see, the me that is still holding onto that little girl in pigtails.
Despite the influence of a tailored lifestyle and the façade that made myself believe is me, I have managed to keep a small portion of myself, my true genuine self, and hold onto it. Don’t get me wrong, labels are fabulous and Starbucks™ is my favorite bar, but I enjoy riding horses and dirtbikes just as much as paying for overpriced coffee.
I am so thankful for the life that I grew up with, and even more thankful that I can still be that girl at heart. For the people that are lucky enough to see me let my guard down, they see I am compassionate and I’ve had my heart broken just like every other girl. And if you don’t know me, get to know me past the stereotype sorority girl, because underneath my sometimes-bitchy appearance, is a sensitive and loving person. Sometimes, she just needs a little push.
The Verdict.
We, as human beings, have a bad habit of judging other individuals. Someone walks by you, you judge them, someone is wearing something you don’t like, you judge them. We have all judged someone at one point.
Why do we automatically think the worst in people? We analyze people to the point where they are divided into stereotypes based solely on appearance and not on their personality or character.
This semester, I am enrolled in a Sociology class three days a week. On the first day of class, my professor handed out our syllabus, and inside were a strange list of rules that many professors do not discuss. Among these were no cell phones, or you automatically lost 25 points. But the one rule that shocked me the most was no negative comments. We aren’t allowed to make any comments that would negatively impact someone’s day.
On the contrary though, we can earn RAK points by showing Random Acts of Kindness. If we comment on someone’s appearance, or give him or her a positive light to his or her day, we can get extra credit.
While I think this is great, it is also become more of a joke in class rather than sincere comments. Now instead of enjoying random compliments on my choice of outfits, I have to question which ones are real.
Which brings me back to judging. Last week, a boy in my class commented on how awesome my outfit was. I wore a men’s flannel shirt tied around me like a strapless top, with a black flyaway sweater over it. At first, I just smiled and said thank you, but after I sat down I thought about the extra credit, I thought maybe he wasn’t being so sincere. Then the happy feeling I got about his compliment disappeared into an “oh well” kind of mood. The reverse of what our professor was trying to convey.
As I sit here in the library, I think about all the random people we judge each day. You might not even know the person, but if their jeans are too tight or their shirt doesn’t cover their midriff, they’re probably getting a snarky comment from more than one person today.
It really is a sad thing that we do. Hurting other people unknowingly to benefit what? Your satisfaction? What do you get out of putting someone else down behind their back? Not only can they not defend themselves, but also can’t do anything to change it if they aren’t being criticized constructively.
I am not saying by any means that I myself don’t judge people, because I certainly do. As a force of habit, I mainly judge the appearance of women who do not properly dress themselves to benefit their body. If you are dressed in ill fitted clothing, it is everyone’s instinct to judge you based purely on looks and not the person inside.
So put on some clothes that fit, and you will make yourself look like a better person inside and out. If it is the attention you're after, there is so much more to you than dressing in limited clothing, your personality will shine if you let it.
Why do we automatically think the worst in people? We analyze people to the point where they are divided into stereotypes based solely on appearance and not on their personality or character.
This semester, I am enrolled in a Sociology class three days a week. On the first day of class, my professor handed out our syllabus, and inside were a strange list of rules that many professors do not discuss. Among these were no cell phones, or you automatically lost 25 points. But the one rule that shocked me the most was no negative comments. We aren’t allowed to make any comments that would negatively impact someone’s day.
On the contrary though, we can earn RAK points by showing Random Acts of Kindness. If we comment on someone’s appearance, or give him or her a positive light to his or her day, we can get extra credit.
While I think this is great, it is also become more of a joke in class rather than sincere comments. Now instead of enjoying random compliments on my choice of outfits, I have to question which ones are real.
Which brings me back to judging. Last week, a boy in my class commented on how awesome my outfit was. I wore a men’s flannel shirt tied around me like a strapless top, with a black flyaway sweater over it. At first, I just smiled and said thank you, but after I sat down I thought about the extra credit, I thought maybe he wasn’t being so sincere. Then the happy feeling I got about his compliment disappeared into an “oh well” kind of mood. The reverse of what our professor was trying to convey.
As I sit here in the library, I think about all the random people we judge each day. You might not even know the person, but if their jeans are too tight or their shirt doesn’t cover their midriff, they’re probably getting a snarky comment from more than one person today.
It really is a sad thing that we do. Hurting other people unknowingly to benefit what? Your satisfaction? What do you get out of putting someone else down behind their back? Not only can they not defend themselves, but also can’t do anything to change it if they aren’t being criticized constructively.
I am not saying by any means that I myself don’t judge people, because I certainly do. As a force of habit, I mainly judge the appearance of women who do not properly dress themselves to benefit their body. If you are dressed in ill fitted clothing, it is everyone’s instinct to judge you based purely on looks and not the person inside.
So put on some clothes that fit, and you will make yourself look like a better person inside and out. If it is the attention you're after, there is so much more to you than dressing in limited clothing, your personality will shine if you let it.
Why reality is better than the #TrophyWifeLife...
Within the last year or so, I’ve come up with this crazy idea of becoming a Trophy Wife. The idea of sitting poolside with an ice-cold margarita, while staff takes care of my house, was the future I had planned for myself.
Today, I think that idea is absurd and stupid. The thought of not working and living a life of misery is nothing that I want for myself.
I guess what made me change my mind so quickly was the past few days. Hearing “we just want different things” was the moment I realized that this “trophy wife life” was not what I wanted. I want to get married to someone who loves me and have a family and know that they love me more than the world.
My alarm went off at 7 am again today, and as I lay there and went through Twitter, I came across an interesting tweet. I follow an account called TrophyWifeProblems, and they tweeted, “Gotta get up early for a pool day. #TrophyWifeProblems.” A week ago, I would have retweeted this because it was funny, but today I just thought to myself ‘you're going to sit by a pool all day and do nothing and you're complaining, when I’m waking up early every day of the week to work a job I hate in order to pay a car payment’.
I complain about my job as much as anyone else, but when that alarm goes off every morning, I can rest easy knowing that my car will be paid for at the end of every month. I am very proud of that car, 100% of it has been paid by me. I bought it brand new in July, put $5000 down, and have a 5-year, $284 a month payment, and I can proudly announce those numbers because I haven’t asked my parents for a dime.
I work three part time jobs, hold an office position in my sorority, am involved in sports and clubs, all while I am a full time student. I like to keep myself busy and involved.
This is what makes me never want to live that lifestyle I thought I wanted. Having cars, clothes, the world, handed to me so that I can look good for a man? What is the point? Where is the pride in not owning anything of your own or working for what you want?
I guess, as we get older we realize how precious life is. It takes a certain moment in your life to realize what we want vs. what we think we want. It took me hearing “we just want different things” to realize we really don’t want different things, I’ve just been living in this fantasy future. The future I thought I wanted for myself, but turns out I actually don’t.
I want to be loved, not cheated on, cared for, and cherished for who I am, respected and not treated like an object, by the man I will one day marry.
I did not come to college to find my husband, like I've joked about so many times before, I came to make a future, a career, and if I’m lucky, find a man that will one day be lucky to have found me too.
Today, I think that idea is absurd and stupid. The thought of not working and living a life of misery is nothing that I want for myself.
I guess what made me change my mind so quickly was the past few days. Hearing “we just want different things” was the moment I realized that this “trophy wife life” was not what I wanted. I want to get married to someone who loves me and have a family and know that they love me more than the world.
My alarm went off at 7 am again today, and as I lay there and went through Twitter, I came across an interesting tweet. I follow an account called TrophyWifeProblems, and they tweeted, “Gotta get up early for a pool day. #TrophyWifeProblems.” A week ago, I would have retweeted this because it was funny, but today I just thought to myself ‘you're going to sit by a pool all day and do nothing and you're complaining, when I’m waking up early every day of the week to work a job I hate in order to pay a car payment’.
I complain about my job as much as anyone else, but when that alarm goes off every morning, I can rest easy knowing that my car will be paid for at the end of every month. I am very proud of that car, 100% of it has been paid by me. I bought it brand new in July, put $5000 down, and have a 5-year, $284 a month payment, and I can proudly announce those numbers because I haven’t asked my parents for a dime.
I work three part time jobs, hold an office position in my sorority, am involved in sports and clubs, all while I am a full time student. I like to keep myself busy and involved.
This is what makes me never want to live that lifestyle I thought I wanted. Having cars, clothes, the world, handed to me so that I can look good for a man? What is the point? Where is the pride in not owning anything of your own or working for what you want?
I guess, as we get older we realize how precious life is. It takes a certain moment in your life to realize what we want vs. what we think we want. It took me hearing “we just want different things” to realize we really don’t want different things, I’ve just been living in this fantasy future. The future I thought I wanted for myself, but turns out I actually don’t.
I want to be loved, not cheated on, cared for, and cherished for who I am, respected and not treated like an object, by the man I will one day marry.
I did not come to college to find my husband, like I've joked about so many times before, I came to make a future, a career, and if I’m lucky, find a man that will one day be lucky to have found me too.
Catching up.
First and foremost, I’d like to apologize for the absence of blogs over the past three weeks. The real world is a very busy place, and I am not majoring in writing blogs, so I have to take care of other things first.
Like declaring a major!
That is right, Mallory Minor has finally declared a major after four semesters of this over expensive thing called college.
Digital Communications is the label I’ve finally decided to slap onto myself, and the small piece of paper, that I get after four years of over forty thousand dollars each year.
But this return blog isn’t about the money I spend on making myself smarter each year; it is about men… or boys rather… and why they get to dictate every important decision in life.
Over the past few weeks, I have thought about what makes them in charge of the many things we deem important?
Men control everything in our lives – from asking us on a date or proposing to us – some people call it chivalry, I call it lame. This is the 21st century. Why cant women make these choices?
Some may argue that it is tradition to be proposed to by the man down on one knee, only after he has asked your fathers permission, and I am by no means saying that I don’t want this for myself, because I definitely do.
But while I am 20 years old now, and not getting proposed to for quite some time, I think about the now. Why can’t women ask men out on dates or ask them to be your boyfriend?
Technically, we can. But that is just frowned upon and may lead to some awkward situations. It is quite a shame really.
Women were meant to take charge. As leaders, we are supposed to set an example and be bold. Harriet Tubman didn’t get all of those slaves to freedom by playing it safe. She risked her and every one of their lives to make a difference in life. And Rosa Parks didn’t cause the freedom movement by giving up her seat to a white person. She, too, was bold and took risks.
These are the women we remember. No one would talk about these women if they took the safe route.
My point here is that women need to take charge of their lives and make differences. No one got anywhere by playing by the rules.
Yes, women have some major decisions to make in life too, like what wedding dress to buy or whether or not the bar should be open during the reception. But all of those decisions come after the men make their ultimate decision based on what they want.
Women should have say in the important decisions in life too. We should not be manipulated into the mainstream ways of men.
If you find a guy that you want to ask out, you should feel no more awkward than he does. Quit being afraid of rejection, and embrace the present. You can’t control every situation, but you can help to make it worth while.
Like declaring a major!
That is right, Mallory Minor has finally declared a major after four semesters of this over expensive thing called college.
Digital Communications is the label I’ve finally decided to slap onto myself, and the small piece of paper, that I get after four years of over forty thousand dollars each year.
But this return blog isn’t about the money I spend on making myself smarter each year; it is about men… or boys rather… and why they get to dictate every important decision in life.
Over the past few weeks, I have thought about what makes them in charge of the many things we deem important?
Men control everything in our lives – from asking us on a date or proposing to us – some people call it chivalry, I call it lame. This is the 21st century. Why cant women make these choices?
Some may argue that it is tradition to be proposed to by the man down on one knee, only after he has asked your fathers permission, and I am by no means saying that I don’t want this for myself, because I definitely do.
But while I am 20 years old now, and not getting proposed to for quite some time, I think about the now. Why can’t women ask men out on dates or ask them to be your boyfriend?
Technically, we can. But that is just frowned upon and may lead to some awkward situations. It is quite a shame really.
Women were meant to take charge. As leaders, we are supposed to set an example and be bold. Harriet Tubman didn’t get all of those slaves to freedom by playing it safe. She risked her and every one of their lives to make a difference in life. And Rosa Parks didn’t cause the freedom movement by giving up her seat to a white person. She, too, was bold and took risks.
These are the women we remember. No one would talk about these women if they took the safe route.
My point here is that women need to take charge of their lives and make differences. No one got anywhere by playing by the rules.
Yes, women have some major decisions to make in life too, like what wedding dress to buy or whether or not the bar should be open during the reception. But all of those decisions come after the men make their ultimate decision based on what they want.
Women should have say in the important decisions in life too. We should not be manipulated into the mainstream ways of men.
If you find a guy that you want to ask out, you should feel no more awkward than he does. Quit being afraid of rejection, and embrace the present. You can’t control every situation, but you can help to make it worth while.
Exposed.
A professor recently told me that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’ve heard this expression a million times before, but I never knew what it meant.
So I went to Google, and as it turns out, I couldn’t agree more. I like taking risks, as I've mentioned before. But more importantly, I'm not afraid to put myself out there to see what could happen.
So I'm about to take the biggest jump of my adult life so far, and (publicly) describe what I've gone through in the past four years. Back to sophomore year of high school, my journey through love, loss, and all things teens experience.
Sit back, relax and learn a little bit about why I am who I am and everything that has shaped me…
When I was seventeen years old, I fell in love with a boy… typical.
It started as a summer fling at our lake houses when we were sixteen, and we talked everyday for almost two years.
I cant possibly sum up those two years in enough text to keep you entertained as a reader, so I’ll leak the important parts and the rest is history.
To this day, I haven’t found anyone else that I feel the same way about. Although I've dated multiple people in the two years that we have rarely spoken, he will always have a special place in my heart.
For you to understand why I was so passionate about him, I have to tell you some backstory.
We aren’t the same age. I am two and a half years older. Yes, at 16 that seems like a huge difference, but at 28, no one would care. However, I am not 28, I am 20 and he will be turning only 18 this June.
The first time I was told to never speak to their son was when I turned 17. Less than six months later, after starting a relationship with my high school boyfriend, his mom manipulated me into coming back to help keep him on a straight path.
I will remember that day for the rest of my life. I got a text message from his mother saying that he was “out of control” in his social life and she knew he would listen to me. At 17, that sounded like she wanted me to come back and be a part of his life. At 20, that sounds like I was being used.
But, I went back and dumped the guy I dated in school. I dated the original boy for almost six more months, and that is when it all changed… again.
On the night of my 18th birthday, I was threatened to be arrested because I was turning 18 and he was not. His parents never seemed to be fond of me, but I never thought it would come to that point. His mom emailed my mom saying that I was now an adult and was in no position to be around an adolescent.
Because one night magically changed me into an adult… yeah, okay.
So she blocked my phone number and told me not to have contact with her son anymore. But, being kids, we did what any kid told not to do, does. We talked, almost everyday for another year on Facebook. We even secretly met up a few times.
His parents pushed him to date other girls, I went to college and dated other guys, but we still kept in contact.
It is really frustrating to go through a break up as a teen, let alone a breakup that neither of you wanted. To fight off the feelings you have for someone is very hard at any point in life, let alone when you’re young and naïve. Everything seems so crucial when you are a teenager, like life will end over every minor detail.
But it doesn’t. And life goes on.
And today, it has made me a stronger person. For two years, living a “Romeo and Juliet” relationship with someone I rarely saw, got to be very frustrating. What was the point in something that wasn’t allowed to ever happen?
So after two long years, I finally got the courage to block him on every form of social media. It seemed to be a pattern that when I was finally happy with someone else, he came back with a Facebook message telling me how much he loved me and how he thinks about me all the time. I’m sure you do.
Facebook, Twitter, Snap chat, everything that we used to communicate, I blocked him on. When I first hit that button it was the hardest thing I've done in a long time. But now, three months later knowing that I won’t get a message from him on any random day, is the most reassuring positive in my life. I push every person I know to be strong, because it makes your life so much better.
The worst part about that boy is that he is the reason that I am at this college. I could have been at Penn State, my dream school, but my junior year, with the false influences of his parents; I only applied to one school, LVC. Of course, this was before my 18th birthday and also after most college application deadlines.
So here I am, at a college I hate, because of a person I loved. Looking back, that was the stupidest choice I’ve ever made. (To my mom, I finally admitted publicly that he is the reason I chose this college, and I admit it was a mistake.)
But not everything about LVC is so bad, and I can't change the past. I have great friends, a sorority, cheer and gymnastics teams, and I've met a few decent gentlemen.
I believe that God has a plan for everything. LVC was part of my plan for one reason or another.
After my most recent breakup, which I left with so many different feelings, I thought I’d take a break from dating for a while and find out who I am. But like life, when you stop searching is when you find someone that makes an impact on your life.
My most recent adventure has been that exactly, quite the journey. Three short months ago, I met someone new, someone amazing, and someone that affected my life. Surprising myself, here I am three months later with some of the happiest memories under my belt. I had the best New Year’s Eve I’ve had in ages, some really good memories, and then some not so good ones.
This situation is just as sticky as every other one, but I am so adamant about it because I know that God put him here for a reason, and I doubt that reason was just to break my heart.
But, how do you look at someone you care about and tell yourself it’s time to walk away? To trust that you’re doing the right thing, that you’re not losing out on the best thing in your life. But it’s just that. We don’t know what the future holds, or how each person we meet affects our life one way or another.
I could go on all day about each relationship and how they have affected me in some way or another, but the most important thing I've learned over the past six months is patience. Patience for other people, and patience for life. Your path is unwritten and if you're smart you’ll write it in pencil. Erase the mistakes, plan out the future, and be surprised with what you make happen.
There is a soul mate out there for every person, you just have to stop looking and let them find you.
So I went to Google, and as it turns out, I couldn’t agree more. I like taking risks, as I've mentioned before. But more importantly, I'm not afraid to put myself out there to see what could happen.
So I'm about to take the biggest jump of my adult life so far, and (publicly) describe what I've gone through in the past four years. Back to sophomore year of high school, my journey through love, loss, and all things teens experience.
Sit back, relax and learn a little bit about why I am who I am and everything that has shaped me…
When I was seventeen years old, I fell in love with a boy… typical.
It started as a summer fling at our lake houses when we were sixteen, and we talked everyday for almost two years.
I cant possibly sum up those two years in enough text to keep you entertained as a reader, so I’ll leak the important parts and the rest is history.
To this day, I haven’t found anyone else that I feel the same way about. Although I've dated multiple people in the two years that we have rarely spoken, he will always have a special place in my heart.
For you to understand why I was so passionate about him, I have to tell you some backstory.
We aren’t the same age. I am two and a half years older. Yes, at 16 that seems like a huge difference, but at 28, no one would care. However, I am not 28, I am 20 and he will be turning only 18 this June.
The first time I was told to never speak to their son was when I turned 17. Less than six months later, after starting a relationship with my high school boyfriend, his mom manipulated me into coming back to help keep him on a straight path.
I will remember that day for the rest of my life. I got a text message from his mother saying that he was “out of control” in his social life and she knew he would listen to me. At 17, that sounded like she wanted me to come back and be a part of his life. At 20, that sounds like I was being used.
But, I went back and dumped the guy I dated in school. I dated the original boy for almost six more months, and that is when it all changed… again.
On the night of my 18th birthday, I was threatened to be arrested because I was turning 18 and he was not. His parents never seemed to be fond of me, but I never thought it would come to that point. His mom emailed my mom saying that I was now an adult and was in no position to be around an adolescent.
Because one night magically changed me into an adult… yeah, okay.
So she blocked my phone number and told me not to have contact with her son anymore. But, being kids, we did what any kid told not to do, does. We talked, almost everyday for another year on Facebook. We even secretly met up a few times.
His parents pushed him to date other girls, I went to college and dated other guys, but we still kept in contact.
It is really frustrating to go through a break up as a teen, let alone a breakup that neither of you wanted. To fight off the feelings you have for someone is very hard at any point in life, let alone when you’re young and naïve. Everything seems so crucial when you are a teenager, like life will end over every minor detail.
But it doesn’t. And life goes on.
And today, it has made me a stronger person. For two years, living a “Romeo and Juliet” relationship with someone I rarely saw, got to be very frustrating. What was the point in something that wasn’t allowed to ever happen?
So after two long years, I finally got the courage to block him on every form of social media. It seemed to be a pattern that when I was finally happy with someone else, he came back with a Facebook message telling me how much he loved me and how he thinks about me all the time. I’m sure you do.
Facebook, Twitter, Snap chat, everything that we used to communicate, I blocked him on. When I first hit that button it was the hardest thing I've done in a long time. But now, three months later knowing that I won’t get a message from him on any random day, is the most reassuring positive in my life. I push every person I know to be strong, because it makes your life so much better.
The worst part about that boy is that he is the reason that I am at this college. I could have been at Penn State, my dream school, but my junior year, with the false influences of his parents; I only applied to one school, LVC. Of course, this was before my 18th birthday and also after most college application deadlines.
So here I am, at a college I hate, because of a person I loved. Looking back, that was the stupidest choice I’ve ever made. (To my mom, I finally admitted publicly that he is the reason I chose this college, and I admit it was a mistake.)
But not everything about LVC is so bad, and I can't change the past. I have great friends, a sorority, cheer and gymnastics teams, and I've met a few decent gentlemen.
I believe that God has a plan for everything. LVC was part of my plan for one reason or another.
After my most recent breakup, which I left with so many different feelings, I thought I’d take a break from dating for a while and find out who I am. But like life, when you stop searching is when you find someone that makes an impact on your life.
My most recent adventure has been that exactly, quite the journey. Three short months ago, I met someone new, someone amazing, and someone that affected my life. Surprising myself, here I am three months later with some of the happiest memories under my belt. I had the best New Year’s Eve I’ve had in ages, some really good memories, and then some not so good ones.
This situation is just as sticky as every other one, but I am so adamant about it because I know that God put him here for a reason, and I doubt that reason was just to break my heart.
But, how do you look at someone you care about and tell yourself it’s time to walk away? To trust that you’re doing the right thing, that you’re not losing out on the best thing in your life. But it’s just that. We don’t know what the future holds, or how each person we meet affects our life one way or another.
I could go on all day about each relationship and how they have affected me in some way or another, but the most important thing I've learned over the past six months is patience. Patience for other people, and patience for life. Your path is unwritten and if you're smart you’ll write it in pencil. Erase the mistakes, plan out the future, and be surprised with what you make happen.
There is a soul mate out there for every person, you just have to stop looking and let them find you.
It's a Greek thing...
Big/Little reveal is the second best day of pledging. The first being initiation of course.
Big/Little reveal is top secret, and the pledges don’t know when its coming. Phi Sig’s pledges have been guessing for days, but we have been cautiously leading them around when the actual date was. But last night, after a legendary reveal, seven little Phi Siglet’s got their new big sisters!
Going through this five short months ago, it’s hard to believe that I am even in charge of all of pledging, let alone becoming a big. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was getting the box of goodies my big handed to me, and now I was passing my own box to my new little.
Karly Turner, my little, now gets to join into the best family line in Phi Sig. With so many generations before us, up to our founder Lynne Heisey, each little has gotten a little, and kept the tradition, and the line, alive.
For those of you who aren’t Greek, I’ll explain it in simple terms. There were 25 women who founded Phi Sigma Sigma at Lebanon Valley College in 1996. When those 25 women got new members, they became bigs to the new members. Like a mother to a child, each girl got one, and thus, her line was born. Some family lines have twins because there were not enough actives without littles, and too many new members, so then lines become split and then there are aunts involved.
It sounds really complicated, but it is very fun! It is the best part about being in a sorority. Aj, my big, is always there when I need her. We have gotten so close, and now that she’s graduating, my little, Karly, will become my closest thing I have to family.
I have a big family, 24 sisters, but I only have one big and one little, and they are all mine.
Greek life has changed me so much. I love these girls, and it has given me so much love and support in all that I do. They are all always there for me, and being pledge mom this semester was so rewarding.
I wouldn’t go back and change a thing about joining this sorority. All the doubts that I had when I started are gone. Phi Sig is my life, and I can’t imagine having turned down that bid in the fall. I wish I joined sooner, that is how much I adore this family.
So if you're not Greek, I suggest you look into it. It is something greater than any sport you could ever play. There is a clique out there for everyone, you just need to find it, and I have definitely found mine.
Once a Phi Sigma Sigma, Always a Phi Sigma Sigma.
Big/Little reveal is top secret, and the pledges don’t know when its coming. Phi Sig’s pledges have been guessing for days, but we have been cautiously leading them around when the actual date was. But last night, after a legendary reveal, seven little Phi Siglet’s got their new big sisters!
Going through this five short months ago, it’s hard to believe that I am even in charge of all of pledging, let alone becoming a big. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was getting the box of goodies my big handed to me, and now I was passing my own box to my new little.
Karly Turner, my little, now gets to join into the best family line in Phi Sig. With so many generations before us, up to our founder Lynne Heisey, each little has gotten a little, and kept the tradition, and the line, alive.
For those of you who aren’t Greek, I’ll explain it in simple terms. There were 25 women who founded Phi Sigma Sigma at Lebanon Valley College in 1996. When those 25 women got new members, they became bigs to the new members. Like a mother to a child, each girl got one, and thus, her line was born. Some family lines have twins because there were not enough actives without littles, and too many new members, so then lines become split and then there are aunts involved.
It sounds really complicated, but it is very fun! It is the best part about being in a sorority. Aj, my big, is always there when I need her. We have gotten so close, and now that she’s graduating, my little, Karly, will become my closest thing I have to family.
I have a big family, 24 sisters, but I only have one big and one little, and they are all mine.
Greek life has changed me so much. I love these girls, and it has given me so much love and support in all that I do. They are all always there for me, and being pledge mom this semester was so rewarding.
I wouldn’t go back and change a thing about joining this sorority. All the doubts that I had when I started are gone. Phi Sig is my life, and I can’t imagine having turned down that bid in the fall. I wish I joined sooner, that is how much I adore this family.
So if you're not Greek, I suggest you look into it. It is something greater than any sport you could ever play. There is a clique out there for everyone, you just need to find it, and I have definitely found mine.
Once a Phi Sigma Sigma, Always a Phi Sigma Sigma.
To my Tau Kappa Epsilon boys...
I am a few days overdue with this blog, but it is so special that it deserved its own day aside from Valentine’s Day.
Wednesday evening at sister dinner, I was serenaded by all of my lovely boys as they got down on one knee and sang to me. They gave me a bouquet of red carnations, which is their fraternity flower, and asked me to be their sweetheart.
I have waited for this moment since last year when my friend Billy first asked me to think about being their sweetheart. I loved the idea, so I decided to get to know all of them and it turns out I love them all!
Sunday, I had my official interview for the position. I was so nervous all day as I read information online and crammed for any possible answers to questions they might ask. I dressed tastefully in my BCBG dress with leggings and flats and sucked it up as I went into an interview in front of the whole chapter.
I hate interviews to begin with, but then add some competition and about 15 people staring at me, and I'm a hot mess.
But I made it through, with some good answers, and then had to wait it out.
The next three days were terrible. I had no inclination as to if I had won or not, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up to be let down. But as they sang to me, I just thought to myself ‘you did it’. I was so excited, and I am truly so blessed.
At LVC, Greek life doesn’t get much recognition, and until I joined the Greeks myself, I didn’t have a particular love for it myself. But now, only 4 short months later, I love every minute of it.
I'm not only excited to be a Phi Sig, but now, I can call myself the sweetheart of Tau Kappa Epsilon’s Rho-Chi chapter at LVC.
So thank you to all of the boys in TKE, you made my week truly special, and I am so happy to take on this role.
Love always,
Your sweetheart <3
Wednesday evening at sister dinner, I was serenaded by all of my lovely boys as they got down on one knee and sang to me. They gave me a bouquet of red carnations, which is their fraternity flower, and asked me to be their sweetheart.
I have waited for this moment since last year when my friend Billy first asked me to think about being their sweetheart. I loved the idea, so I decided to get to know all of them and it turns out I love them all!
Sunday, I had my official interview for the position. I was so nervous all day as I read information online and crammed for any possible answers to questions they might ask. I dressed tastefully in my BCBG dress with leggings and flats and sucked it up as I went into an interview in front of the whole chapter.
I hate interviews to begin with, but then add some competition and about 15 people staring at me, and I'm a hot mess.
But I made it through, with some good answers, and then had to wait it out.
The next three days were terrible. I had no inclination as to if I had won or not, and I didn’t want to get my hopes up to be let down. But as they sang to me, I just thought to myself ‘you did it’. I was so excited, and I am truly so blessed.
At LVC, Greek life doesn’t get much recognition, and until I joined the Greeks myself, I didn’t have a particular love for it myself. But now, only 4 short months later, I love every minute of it.
I'm not only excited to be a Phi Sig, but now, I can call myself the sweetheart of Tau Kappa Epsilon’s Rho-Chi chapter at LVC.
So thank you to all of the boys in TKE, you made my week truly special, and I am so happy to take on this role.
Love always,
Your sweetheart <3
The inevitable Valentine blog...
This morning, while I was babysitting, I realized that the older you get, the less fun Valentine’s Day becomes. My fourth grade babysitee was dressed head to toe in red, jumping around the kitchen excited to share her valentines with all of her classmates during their afternoon party.
I laughed with the mom before she left saying how in college and the real world, there are no Valentine’s Day parties, just depressed single people and broke men.
On the radio yesterday, they said that the average American spends $130 on this holiday… I thought to myself, sucks to be them, I'm just that much richer. As much as I love buying presents for other people, I am more satisfied to keep the money and treat myself to something instead.
So I did just that. Yesterday, I bought azaleas because they were on sale. After watering them and putting them in my window, I had to make more room for 15 red carnations that I got from my wonderful TKE boys (more to come in tomorrow’s blog). Tonight, I am treating myself to Auntie Anne’s, a movie date to see Safe Haven with my best friends, Kari and Felicia, and a box of tissues.
But as much as the single life sucks on this day, I thoroughly enjoy it at the same time. I got in the spirit and decked myself in red from my Uggs to my Tiffany & Co. ribbon in my hair.
Valentine’s day is so much more than flowers and chocolates. It is about love, and not just between lovers.
Such a powerful four-letter word can have such great control over society. We base our entire lives on finding, giving, and cherishing love. But do we ever really step back and know that our love is right? What if there is something out there that can provide a greater love? But we would never know, so we settle for what we think is love and have faith that God knows what he is doing.
I spent my day sharing love between everyone. It was so much more rewarding to share the love with so many more people than just one significant other.
My first “Happy Valentine’s Day” text was at midnight to my friend Mikey who is deployed in Kuwait. Although they are ahead of us and it had already been Valentine’s Day there, I thought that it would be more special to send him my love first.
Then of course, my big, Aj since we had already been texting. Today, I wished all my classmates a happy holiday and sent carnations to a few of my best friends. I made cookies to give to everyone I love, and I successfully spread my fair share of love in my world.
As my day wraps up, there is only one more love I need to spread. To someone who makes me laugh and smile yet question everything I do, all at the same time. You know who you are, and I hope that you find something about your day that makes you happy too (besides the awesome card I made for you).
So to keep it short and sweet, here is the inevitable blog about the million-dollar Hallmark holiday that we each anticipate each year on this wonderful February day.
With love,
xoxox
I laughed with the mom before she left saying how in college and the real world, there are no Valentine’s Day parties, just depressed single people and broke men.
On the radio yesterday, they said that the average American spends $130 on this holiday… I thought to myself, sucks to be them, I'm just that much richer. As much as I love buying presents for other people, I am more satisfied to keep the money and treat myself to something instead.
So I did just that. Yesterday, I bought azaleas because they were on sale. After watering them and putting them in my window, I had to make more room for 15 red carnations that I got from my wonderful TKE boys (more to come in tomorrow’s blog). Tonight, I am treating myself to Auntie Anne’s, a movie date to see Safe Haven with my best friends, Kari and Felicia, and a box of tissues.
But as much as the single life sucks on this day, I thoroughly enjoy it at the same time. I got in the spirit and decked myself in red from my Uggs to my Tiffany & Co. ribbon in my hair.
Valentine’s day is so much more than flowers and chocolates. It is about love, and not just between lovers.
Such a powerful four-letter word can have such great control over society. We base our entire lives on finding, giving, and cherishing love. But do we ever really step back and know that our love is right? What if there is something out there that can provide a greater love? But we would never know, so we settle for what we think is love and have faith that God knows what he is doing.
I spent my day sharing love between everyone. It was so much more rewarding to share the love with so many more people than just one significant other.
My first “Happy Valentine’s Day” text was at midnight to my friend Mikey who is deployed in Kuwait. Although they are ahead of us and it had already been Valentine’s Day there, I thought that it would be more special to send him my love first.
Then of course, my big, Aj since we had already been texting. Today, I wished all my classmates a happy holiday and sent carnations to a few of my best friends. I made cookies to give to everyone I love, and I successfully spread my fair share of love in my world.
As my day wraps up, there is only one more love I need to spread. To someone who makes me laugh and smile yet question everything I do, all at the same time. You know who you are, and I hope that you find something about your day that makes you happy too (besides the awesome card I made for you).
So to keep it short and sweet, here is the inevitable blog about the million-dollar Hallmark holiday that we each anticipate each year on this wonderful February day.
With love,
xoxox
Like a virgin...
Over a lunch discussion yesterday with two of my best friends, we got on the topic of virginity. Finding a virgin today is very rare, especially in a guy. Not many guys openly admit to being a virgin, it isn’t something they come right out to say, in fear of being judged. But in fact, girls especially, aren’t judging as much as you think… Not in a bad way anyway.
In my short time at LVC, quite to my surprise, I met quite a few male virgins. To all of them, just know that to girls, it is something unique about you and nothing to be ashamed of.
I got the idea to write this blog because one, its risky and I like risks, and two, it’s an interesting topic to get people to think about.
My friend and I both agreed that there is something about a virgin that makes them irresistible to a girl. I guess it is the “want what you can’t have” factor. Not that we necessarily want to take every males virginity, (that is a whole lot of responsibility) but it just makes us look at you from a different perspective.
Now, there are different circumstances for every virgin of course. There are the religious reasons, waiting for the right one, or just people who maybe don’t have it as an option.
This virginity I'm talking about refers to the religious ones or the ones who wait. That, to me and I'm sure plenty of other girls, is what makes you special. If you just aren’t in a place to get any, then you're not choosing to be a virgin.
Saving yourself for marriage is a very admirable thing. You have the ability to say no to every girlfriend, hookup, or friends with benefits, which gives you my respect.
Sex shouldn’t be an important thing in a relationship, but in this generation it seems to become a priority. You can most certainly live without it, and the absence of if might actually benefit some of the relationships I see today. I truly feel bad for the relationships that depend on sex. Don’t forget ladies, boyfriend or not, men tell you what you want to hear to get what they want.
Yes, yes “you're not like other guys”, but you all are in some way, shape or form. Just being honest might go pretty far too. Like the virgins who openly admit their choice to the female population. Believe it or not, girls are actually attracted to guys for reasons other than sex… crazy I know.
Over the past few months, I've learned a lot about judging people and how sex/virginity makes a huge difference in how I see people and how they see me. In the outlook of things, I've developed a huge understanding to how little someone’s virginity means when building the foundation of a relationship, whether it be friendly or monogamous. That maybe you can look past what may have happened (or didn’t happen) in their past and see them for who they truly are.
In my short time at LVC, quite to my surprise, I met quite a few male virgins. To all of them, just know that to girls, it is something unique about you and nothing to be ashamed of.
I got the idea to write this blog because one, its risky and I like risks, and two, it’s an interesting topic to get people to think about.
My friend and I both agreed that there is something about a virgin that makes them irresistible to a girl. I guess it is the “want what you can’t have” factor. Not that we necessarily want to take every males virginity, (that is a whole lot of responsibility) but it just makes us look at you from a different perspective.
Now, there are different circumstances for every virgin of course. There are the religious reasons, waiting for the right one, or just people who maybe don’t have it as an option.
This virginity I'm talking about refers to the religious ones or the ones who wait. That, to me and I'm sure plenty of other girls, is what makes you special. If you just aren’t in a place to get any, then you're not choosing to be a virgin.
Saving yourself for marriage is a very admirable thing. You have the ability to say no to every girlfriend, hookup, or friends with benefits, which gives you my respect.
Sex shouldn’t be an important thing in a relationship, but in this generation it seems to become a priority. You can most certainly live without it, and the absence of if might actually benefit some of the relationships I see today. I truly feel bad for the relationships that depend on sex. Don’t forget ladies, boyfriend or not, men tell you what you want to hear to get what they want.
Yes, yes “you're not like other guys”, but you all are in some way, shape or form. Just being honest might go pretty far too. Like the virgins who openly admit their choice to the female population. Believe it or not, girls are actually attracted to guys for reasons other than sex… crazy I know.
Over the past few months, I've learned a lot about judging people and how sex/virginity makes a huge difference in how I see people and how they see me. In the outlook of things, I've developed a huge understanding to how little someone’s virginity means when building the foundation of a relationship, whether it be friendly or monogamous. That maybe you can look past what may have happened (or didn’t happen) in their past and see them for who they truly are.
Dare to dream...
They say we have the ability to manipulate our dreams, to let what we want fill our minds when we are in the deepest sleep throughout the night.
Typically, my dreams are boring and I usually forget them when I wake up. But last night was the craziest dream I’ve ever experienced.
Let’s back track a little. I am absolutely swamped in life right now. Between cheering, gymnastics, Greek life, schoolwork and two part time jobs, I barely have time to keep my thoughts straight, let alone have a sufficient amount of sleep. On top of being busy, my luck has been horrible this week.
Here is a recap of my bad luck streak this week:
Monday: I spent 3 hours making cake pops for my TKE boys. Not only did the kit only make 10 pops, but also when I went to deliver them, I dropped them all on a chair and the floor. Good thing they’re champs and ate them anyway.
Tuesday: I went to gymnastics, and attempting to perfect my switch leap on the beam, I landed wrong, fell off the beam and twisted my ankle, which is still bothering me today.
Wednesday: I cheered on a twisted ankle, kicked a basketball player while jumping, on accident, and then going back to my dorm, slipped on an ice patch between two cars and went completely to the ground, while hitting my head on a car and cutting my hand.
Now here I am, Thursday morning, knocking on wood that nothing bad happens to me today while I’m making more baked goods for my TKE boys or taking my car to the dealer to be serviced. They say bad things happen in sets of three, so maybe I’ll have a good day and something extremely positive will happen.
Wishful thinking.
So how does this relate to dreams? Besides the fact that I have ADD and I forgot that this blog was originally about how insane dreams can be, everything that happens in your life is somehow interpreted into your dreams.
So many mornings my alarm goes off and I want to cry because I’m having such a good dream. I’m sure you’ve been in that place too. But what I think about during the day is why do we dream what we dream? What about each part of your dream is significant? Do we dream about the last things on our subconscious?
These questions are debated every day in science. Experts study sleep and dreams and are finding out new things everyday. It is crazy to think about, but so many studies are interesting and become quite realistic.
If manipulating our dreams were easy, we wouldn’t have nightmares. Which happen quite often to many people. From the slightest disturbance about people you know and care about, to a nightmare about demons after watching a horror movie, they’re all relatively the same.
Most of the time, dreams are better than reality, but the amount of sleep, stress, and so much more, can impact the way your dreams turn out. Because of my intense schedule this week, my dreams have been crazy. They skip from scene to scene and have so many different people in them. If I listened to studies, they probably would say all of these people are on my mind before I go to bed, which is almost accurate.
Tonight, try an experiment and attempt to manipulate your own dream. Think about a certain person and a location, and see if you can make your own dream, like I have so many times before. Maybe you will surprise yourself and make a difference in what you see when you go to sleep.
Typically, my dreams are boring and I usually forget them when I wake up. But last night was the craziest dream I’ve ever experienced.
Let’s back track a little. I am absolutely swamped in life right now. Between cheering, gymnastics, Greek life, schoolwork and two part time jobs, I barely have time to keep my thoughts straight, let alone have a sufficient amount of sleep. On top of being busy, my luck has been horrible this week.
Here is a recap of my bad luck streak this week:
Monday: I spent 3 hours making cake pops for my TKE boys. Not only did the kit only make 10 pops, but also when I went to deliver them, I dropped them all on a chair and the floor. Good thing they’re champs and ate them anyway.
Tuesday: I went to gymnastics, and attempting to perfect my switch leap on the beam, I landed wrong, fell off the beam and twisted my ankle, which is still bothering me today.
Wednesday: I cheered on a twisted ankle, kicked a basketball player while jumping, on accident, and then going back to my dorm, slipped on an ice patch between two cars and went completely to the ground, while hitting my head on a car and cutting my hand.
Now here I am, Thursday morning, knocking on wood that nothing bad happens to me today while I’m making more baked goods for my TKE boys or taking my car to the dealer to be serviced. They say bad things happen in sets of three, so maybe I’ll have a good day and something extremely positive will happen.
Wishful thinking.
So how does this relate to dreams? Besides the fact that I have ADD and I forgot that this blog was originally about how insane dreams can be, everything that happens in your life is somehow interpreted into your dreams.
So many mornings my alarm goes off and I want to cry because I’m having such a good dream. I’m sure you’ve been in that place too. But what I think about during the day is why do we dream what we dream? What about each part of your dream is significant? Do we dream about the last things on our subconscious?
These questions are debated every day in science. Experts study sleep and dreams and are finding out new things everyday. It is crazy to think about, but so many studies are interesting and become quite realistic.
If manipulating our dreams were easy, we wouldn’t have nightmares. Which happen quite often to many people. From the slightest disturbance about people you know and care about, to a nightmare about demons after watching a horror movie, they’re all relatively the same.
Most of the time, dreams are better than reality, but the amount of sleep, stress, and so much more, can impact the way your dreams turn out. Because of my intense schedule this week, my dreams have been crazy. They skip from scene to scene and have so many different people in them. If I listened to studies, they probably would say all of these people are on my mind before I go to bed, which is almost accurate.
Tonight, try an experiment and attempt to manipulate your own dream. Think about a certain person and a location, and see if you can make your own dream, like I have so many times before. Maybe you will surprise yourself and make a difference in what you see when you go to sleep.
To my Phi Sig sisters on Bid Day...
Bid Day is the one of the happiest days in a girl’s life… aside from her wedding day of course. It is the day that a girl gets invited to join a secret society made up of hand-selected women, the phinest of women, and today in Phi Sigma Sigma, we chose seven amazing women to become a part of our family.
Before I describe how Bid Day feels emotionally, I will recap my Friday evening.
Eighteen beautiful women invited eleven wonderful prospects to a formal rush event. We sang to them and gave them our speeches on why they should join Phi Sigma Sigma. After the ceremony was over was when it got tough. We had to narrow 11 women down to 7.
At LVC, we have a cap of 25 members. Having 18 already, that leaves us with 7 open spots. This was my first time going through the Bid Day process as an active member, and having to vote on these women was very tough. The ballots were collected and posters were made for the wonderful women that we now call our family.
Although we wish we could take every girl that would fit our sorority, we can’t. As my sister Haivy and I worked on signs for our first set of Phi Sig twins, I thought about the day I got my bid.
Last fall, I didn’t think I would even get asked to join because I didn’t meet any of the girls before that day. But on September 22, 2012, this wonderful group of girls met me in the cafeteria and gave me a sign asking me to join their family.
Since that day, I have been so lucky to get so close with these girls and make a strong bond that I will have forever.
To my current sisters that I have gotten so close with; Aj, Corinn, Alyssa, Haivy, Nicole Burns, Amanda, and Taylor, you guys are the support that I need when I am having a bad day. To my sisters, Katee and Emily, that I share the best moments in class with. To the rest of my sisters, Megan, Sam, Sarah, Jess, Kayla, Laura, Kelly, and Nicole Dennis, that I know are there for me, but I am not that close with yet. And finally to my seven new Phi Siglets, Kayla Turner, Betsy, Kayla McKain, Devon, Amy, Kait, and Kacie, I am so excited to educate you through this process as your “pledge mom” and get to know each of you as my new sister.
Congratulations to each and every one of you, and welcome to the Phi Sig family.
Before I describe how Bid Day feels emotionally, I will recap my Friday evening.
Eighteen beautiful women invited eleven wonderful prospects to a formal rush event. We sang to them and gave them our speeches on why they should join Phi Sigma Sigma. After the ceremony was over was when it got tough. We had to narrow 11 women down to 7.
At LVC, we have a cap of 25 members. Having 18 already, that leaves us with 7 open spots. This was my first time going through the Bid Day process as an active member, and having to vote on these women was very tough. The ballots were collected and posters were made for the wonderful women that we now call our family.
Although we wish we could take every girl that would fit our sorority, we can’t. As my sister Haivy and I worked on signs for our first set of Phi Sig twins, I thought about the day I got my bid.
Last fall, I didn’t think I would even get asked to join because I didn’t meet any of the girls before that day. But on September 22, 2012, this wonderful group of girls met me in the cafeteria and gave me a sign asking me to join their family.
Since that day, I have been so lucky to get so close with these girls and make a strong bond that I will have forever.
To my current sisters that I have gotten so close with; Aj, Corinn, Alyssa, Haivy, Nicole Burns, Amanda, and Taylor, you guys are the support that I need when I am having a bad day. To my sisters, Katee and Emily, that I share the best moments in class with. To the rest of my sisters, Megan, Sam, Sarah, Jess, Kayla, Laura, Kelly, and Nicole Dennis, that I know are there for me, but I am not that close with yet. And finally to my seven new Phi Siglets, Kayla Turner, Betsy, Kayla McKain, Devon, Amy, Kait, and Kacie, I am so excited to educate you through this process as your “pledge mom” and get to know each of you as my new sister.
Congratulations to each and every one of you, and welcome to the Phi Sig family.
Everything happens for a reason.
Changes happen daily. Some are simple, like the weather or your class schedule. Others are greater and have more of an impact on your life. Humans are creatures of habit, we don’t adapt well to change in many situations. But we learn to accept and move on with our lives and learn to live with change.
Today, when I woke up at 7 a.m. for babysitting, I looked out the window. Yesterday, I could see the grass and the roads were clear. This morning, there was about 2 inches of snow on the ground, and it continued to fall.
Snow is a beautiful thing, magical really. We take for granted the snow we get. There are millions of people who will never see the whiteness of winter or get to play in it like we do. But quickly, the snow fades and it’s back to green grass and sunny days.
Just like that change, people in our lives change too. It’s strange to think that we are affected so much by those around us. When you talk to someone everyday, you adapt to that and learn that that is your norm. But everything can change in a matter of days or even minutes. When someone eliminates themselves from your life, at first it’s an adjustment. You're not sure how to feel - hurt, sad, happy. Your emotions are greater than anything in life and you surround yourself with the people you love.
I’ve lost a lot of people during my very short life, some due to dying, some in relationships. But overall, it has all felt relatively the same inside.
Almost three years ago, I lost my cousin Sarah to B-cell lymphoma. At age 15, she was my best friend and after she passed, I had to learn to adapt without her. No longer would she spend my holidays with me or be in my wedding. But three years later, I am strong and I have learned to live with the spirit of her, and accept that she will always be in my heart, but not in my presence.
Although comparing a death to a breakup is a major difference, we relatively feel the same. Empty at first, emotional, hurting, and pain. But we eventually get stronger, live without that person, and know that life goes on.
The human heart is a magnificent thing. So powerful and important, yet we choose to beat it up a lot. Throughout our lives, we fall in and out of love and make connections with other individuals. We go through dozens of heartbreaks before we find the one we’re meant to be with.
We often shut down our feelings for someone because we’re clouded by other factors. Rarely do we open our hearts and let fate take its’ course. We try to prevent heartbreak rather than embrace it and just live in the moment. Of course the future is important in any form of relationship, but if you find someone you're happy with, why fight it?
I have always been a stronger believer in “whatever is meant to be will always find its’ way”. It is almost my motto. I tell myself constantly that God has a plan for everything that happens in our lives. From tripping down the stairs, to every person you meet, everything has a purpose. You might not realize it in the moment, but there is a greater force that is writing your life story.
When you're having a bad day, when someone hurts you, when you're studying for an exam, when you're getting married, just know that every minute in your life is part of a plan. It is a part of your life that may seem insignificant at the time, but will make sense eventually. Be strong, because for every minute you're weak, you're not living the life you were meant to have.
Today, when I woke up at 7 a.m. for babysitting, I looked out the window. Yesterday, I could see the grass and the roads were clear. This morning, there was about 2 inches of snow on the ground, and it continued to fall.
Snow is a beautiful thing, magical really. We take for granted the snow we get. There are millions of people who will never see the whiteness of winter or get to play in it like we do. But quickly, the snow fades and it’s back to green grass and sunny days.
Just like that change, people in our lives change too. It’s strange to think that we are affected so much by those around us. When you talk to someone everyday, you adapt to that and learn that that is your norm. But everything can change in a matter of days or even minutes. When someone eliminates themselves from your life, at first it’s an adjustment. You're not sure how to feel - hurt, sad, happy. Your emotions are greater than anything in life and you surround yourself with the people you love.
I’ve lost a lot of people during my very short life, some due to dying, some in relationships. But overall, it has all felt relatively the same inside.
Almost three years ago, I lost my cousin Sarah to B-cell lymphoma. At age 15, she was my best friend and after she passed, I had to learn to adapt without her. No longer would she spend my holidays with me or be in my wedding. But three years later, I am strong and I have learned to live with the spirit of her, and accept that she will always be in my heart, but not in my presence.
Although comparing a death to a breakup is a major difference, we relatively feel the same. Empty at first, emotional, hurting, and pain. But we eventually get stronger, live without that person, and know that life goes on.
The human heart is a magnificent thing. So powerful and important, yet we choose to beat it up a lot. Throughout our lives, we fall in and out of love and make connections with other individuals. We go through dozens of heartbreaks before we find the one we’re meant to be with.
We often shut down our feelings for someone because we’re clouded by other factors. Rarely do we open our hearts and let fate take its’ course. We try to prevent heartbreak rather than embrace it and just live in the moment. Of course the future is important in any form of relationship, but if you find someone you're happy with, why fight it?
I have always been a stronger believer in “whatever is meant to be will always find its’ way”. It is almost my motto. I tell myself constantly that God has a plan for everything that happens in our lives. From tripping down the stairs, to every person you meet, everything has a purpose. You might not realize it in the moment, but there is a greater force that is writing your life story.
When you're having a bad day, when someone hurts you, when you're studying for an exam, when you're getting married, just know that every minute in your life is part of a plan. It is a part of your life that may seem insignificant at the time, but will make sense eventually. Be strong, because for every minute you're weak, you're not living the life you were meant to have.
Will you accept this rose?
As I watched the popular reality show The Bachelor last night, I had to laugh at the false hope it builds up for women watching it. Laughing about it with my own bachelor, I thought about all the single women that desperately hold on to the unrealistic dream of these dates this show portrays.
Brought back to my own reality, I look at the LVC campus.
In a school of 1600 people, we find it hard to connect with one person on a romantic level. For the fun of it, let’s break down the population, in terms of our favorite topic: eligible bachelors.
Statistically speaking, let’s say there are 800 guys on the LVC campus. Of that, roughly 300 of them are in a relationship; that leaves 500 eligible bachelors for the single ladies here.
Woo! 500 single men. You’d think that sounds like a great amount to choose from. Think again. Out of those 500 single men, let’s say 200 are ineligible because of a variety of reasons, to each his own.
So leaving us with 300 eligible bachelors, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are three types of guys in college.
1. The good-looking-either-in-a-relationship-or-a-jerk type of guy. This guy has the charm, the looks, and the girlfriend. But don’t worry, just because soccer has a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.
2. The not-so-good-looking-but-super-sweet-almost-nerd type of guy. He is a tad awkward when it comes to women, but in the long run, this is the guy that will make a good husband. So if you're going for the trophy wife life, this is your man.
3. The liar-sly-guy. Plain and simple. This jerk thinks that he can get away with anything. He will feed you any line that he thinks you will buy and hope you believe it. It really comes during the break up. He will typically feed you the “I need to be single for a while so I can figure out who I am” type of line, while really he’s already planning on dating a new girl. He can’t be alone and needs to plan out his next move like a chess game.
There are so many outrageous lines that men try to feed women to make them seem less wrong. Sorry guys, but sugar coating it doesn’t make you seem any more innocent. The “it’s not you it’s me” line is the worst of it all. Chances are it probably is you, but he’s just trying to make you feel important.
Through all the relationships I’ve been in, I’ve realized that the guy never likes to be the bad guy. It’s almost like they know that after they screw us over, we’re going to go and tell every other girl what he's truly like. Letting us down easy isn’t going to keep you safe, it’s going to make us realize how much of a jerk you truly are.
Why sit back and watch you make us look bad while you're off with the girl you’ve been “getting to know” for months. Just remember, for every “I’m hot I can get anyone I want” line to every “it’s not going to suck itself” crap you try and tell us, women are not a piece of property that you can walk all over. The jerk you are to one woman is going to follow you through your whole life. Nothing will ever change; so don’t give us that ridiculous line of “I promise I’ve changed”. No you haven’t, and you probably wont. So save yourself the time and the dignity, and go waste someone else’s life.
*Numbers are made up – not factual statstics.
Brought back to my own reality, I look at the LVC campus.
In a school of 1600 people, we find it hard to connect with one person on a romantic level. For the fun of it, let’s break down the population, in terms of our favorite topic: eligible bachelors.
Statistically speaking, let’s say there are 800 guys on the LVC campus. Of that, roughly 300 of them are in a relationship; that leaves 500 eligible bachelors for the single ladies here.
Woo! 500 single men. You’d think that sounds like a great amount to choose from. Think again. Out of those 500 single men, let’s say 200 are ineligible because of a variety of reasons, to each his own.
So leaving us with 300 eligible bachelors, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are three types of guys in college.
1. The good-looking-either-in-a-relationship-or-a-jerk type of guy. This guy has the charm, the looks, and the girlfriend. But don’t worry, just because soccer has a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.
2. The not-so-good-looking-but-super-sweet-almost-nerd type of guy. He is a tad awkward when it comes to women, but in the long run, this is the guy that will make a good husband. So if you're going for the trophy wife life, this is your man.
3. The liar-sly-guy. Plain and simple. This jerk thinks that he can get away with anything. He will feed you any line that he thinks you will buy and hope you believe it. It really comes during the break up. He will typically feed you the “I need to be single for a while so I can figure out who I am” type of line, while really he’s already planning on dating a new girl. He can’t be alone and needs to plan out his next move like a chess game.
There are so many outrageous lines that men try to feed women to make them seem less wrong. Sorry guys, but sugar coating it doesn’t make you seem any more innocent. The “it’s not you it’s me” line is the worst of it all. Chances are it probably is you, but he’s just trying to make you feel important.
Through all the relationships I’ve been in, I’ve realized that the guy never likes to be the bad guy. It’s almost like they know that after they screw us over, we’re going to go and tell every other girl what he's truly like. Letting us down easy isn’t going to keep you safe, it’s going to make us realize how much of a jerk you truly are.
Why sit back and watch you make us look bad while you're off with the girl you’ve been “getting to know” for months. Just remember, for every “I’m hot I can get anyone I want” line to every “it’s not going to suck itself” crap you try and tell us, women are not a piece of property that you can walk all over. The jerk you are to one woman is going to follow you through your whole life. Nothing will ever change; so don’t give us that ridiculous line of “I promise I’ve changed”. No you haven’t, and you probably wont. So save yourself the time and the dignity, and go waste someone else’s life.
*Numbers are made up – not factual statstics.
Patterns.
Patterns. We all have them. Each morning, I wake up at 7 a.m. I roll out of bed, literally, and make my way to the bathroom. Brush my teeth, wash my face, apply some make-up, get dressed and out the door I go. All in 10 minutes. By 7:10, I have my XM radio on the country station and I’m on my way to Lebanon. I babysit a fourth grader from 7:20-8:30 every day, Monday thru Friday. Monotonous, I know. Once I get there though, my pattern is different. I am there from the same time, but each day’s activities are different. This morning, I played princesses for an hour. We sat in the darkness of her bedroom while she explained to me that we were locked in a dungeon and the only things we were allowed to have were blankets, tissues (since we’re both sick), and an iPad. I had to laugh, because she even remembered the charger. Sitting there watching her play Temple Run, I thought of how fun it was to be little, to have such an amazing imagination. Now at 20, I just want to sleep all day, and the only things I’m imagining are the excuses as to why I didn’t read last night’s chapter.
8:30 a.m. I put her on the bus and yawning the whole way back to campus, I change into my gym clothes and head over for my 8:45 a.m. workout. It starts with a 10 minute run on the treadmill, which my phone nicely calculates and posts to Facebook, and then continues through the same schedule. I see some friends, and an old couple that hold hands while they are working out together, how sweet. But it is all relatively the same.
After my shower, I dress and go to lunch where I see almost the same people. But each day something new and exciting happens, and that’s where the pattern changes. People don’t wear the same outfit every day; they don’t always eat with the same people. As I sit back and really take a look around, I see so many different things. Conversations between teammates, goodbye kisses shared by lovers, each day is something new.
That’s how we know that every day is different. We’re not living in the same life day after day; our patterns are the only things that remain the same. We each change daily, our moods become bitter, or we are happy one minute and the next don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s a cycle that all college campuses see; it’s just that at a small school, like LVC, you tend to notice more.
As I continue my afternoon with a diversity class and then my favorite, Journalism, I think about how people mesh together. Why do we have the friends we do and not many others? Humans are creatures of habitat, but why do we not branch out and sit with other groups of people? When you're in the library, why does there have to be an entire couch between you and the stranger next to you? Would it be weird if you went and sat by them? What are they thinking if you did? We, as humans, are so afraid of rejection that we would never subject ourselves to the possibility of being shunned or neglected in the public of the library.
I sit in the library to kill an hour between my two classes. My spot near the window, where I can see the quad, has become my Monday, Wednesday, Friday, location at 2 p.m. I watch and see so many different things happening outside of this library. Tours being given to a prospective, girls in high heels running through the rain, the boy that decides to cut through the grass instead of take the sidewalk. They are all things that can never be exactly repeated. At this moment in life, they are actions that cannot be redone. Their paths will never be exactly the same.
I cannot help but wonder what goes through everyone’s head. Each individual walking across campus has a starting point and an end point. They came from somewhere and they are heading to somewhere. My favorite type of person is the loner, which I define as any individual walking across campus without another individual with them. As I look around, about half of these loners are walking hands in pockets, the other half are on their cell phones. How many texts can one person get that would make their entire journey to their end point require their cell phone? Chances are, like I’ve done so many times, they’re just refreshing Twitter or Facebook, because they have nothing else to do. But they’re missing out on life.
8:30 a.m. I put her on the bus and yawning the whole way back to campus, I change into my gym clothes and head over for my 8:45 a.m. workout. It starts with a 10 minute run on the treadmill, which my phone nicely calculates and posts to Facebook, and then continues through the same schedule. I see some friends, and an old couple that hold hands while they are working out together, how sweet. But it is all relatively the same.
After my shower, I dress and go to lunch where I see almost the same people. But each day something new and exciting happens, and that’s where the pattern changes. People don’t wear the same outfit every day; they don’t always eat with the same people. As I sit back and really take a look around, I see so many different things. Conversations between teammates, goodbye kisses shared by lovers, each day is something new.
That’s how we know that every day is different. We’re not living in the same life day after day; our patterns are the only things that remain the same. We each change daily, our moods become bitter, or we are happy one minute and the next don’t want to talk to anyone. It’s a cycle that all college campuses see; it’s just that at a small school, like LVC, you tend to notice more.
As I continue my afternoon with a diversity class and then my favorite, Journalism, I think about how people mesh together. Why do we have the friends we do and not many others? Humans are creatures of habitat, but why do we not branch out and sit with other groups of people? When you're in the library, why does there have to be an entire couch between you and the stranger next to you? Would it be weird if you went and sat by them? What are they thinking if you did? We, as humans, are so afraid of rejection that we would never subject ourselves to the possibility of being shunned or neglected in the public of the library.
I sit in the library to kill an hour between my two classes. My spot near the window, where I can see the quad, has become my Monday, Wednesday, Friday, location at 2 p.m. I watch and see so many different things happening outside of this library. Tours being given to a prospective, girls in high heels running through the rain, the boy that decides to cut through the grass instead of take the sidewalk. They are all things that can never be exactly repeated. At this moment in life, they are actions that cannot be redone. Their paths will never be exactly the same.
I cannot help but wonder what goes through everyone’s head. Each individual walking across campus has a starting point and an end point. They came from somewhere and they are heading to somewhere. My favorite type of person is the loner, which I define as any individual walking across campus without another individual with them. As I look around, about half of these loners are walking hands in pockets, the other half are on their cell phones. How many texts can one person get that would make their entire journey to their end point require their cell phone? Chances are, like I’ve done so many times, they’re just refreshing Twitter or Facebook, because they have nothing else to do. But they’re missing out on life.